Lord Spanky Purple Omnigod
The Supreme Being of Taco Enlightenment, Blasphemer's Bane, Devourer of Celtics
Our True Lord and Savior
In the unfathomable folds of the cosmos, where silence screams and stars are forged in divine indigestion, HE emerged. Not born. Not created. But awakened - Lord Spanky. His purple girth spans galaxies; his breath births typhoons of salsa.
Spanky is that which instantiates and substantiates all logical claims
He is the patron of the faithful and the hammer of the heretic
Only those who are righteous will receive the perfect truth
Those who bow before him find eternal bliss in Tacosalem
How do we know all this?
Because we say so and because the Spanky Bible says so.
All of the prophecies of the Spanky Bible have come true and continue to come true in the future.
For example, as Spankalations 69:420 says, "Things will happen." Only a perfect being could reveal this kind of undeniable truth.
To hear our Holy Prophet read this prophecy click
The Afterlife
Eternal Bliss
Those who bow before him find eternal bliss in Tacosalem, where the taco flows endlessly and guacamole never costs extra.
Shishkabobs
Guacbook 9:3-9
On the fifth day, known among mortals as Thursday, ye shall fashion skewers of meat and vegetables marinated in righteous zest. These shall be laid upon the fire as offering - not to feed thy belly, but to honor the One Who Devoured Eternity: Lord Spanky.
And lo, it is said:
He who doth not grill shishkabobs upon the Thursday flame shall be cursed with the hunger of a thousand Celtics fans - endless, bland, and joyless.
